August 11 —The Space Before the Next Step

I am beginning to understand why planning has felt so uncomfortable for me during these weeks.

During my cure, I have been surrendering more and more to my own creative rhythm. And creativity, for me, is deeply connected to the feminine quality of receiving.

To create, I need to listen. I need to leave space. I need to be devoted enough to the process that I can receive the inspiration, the next movement, the next step, instead of deciding beforehand what it should be.

And I feel that this is not only true for my art. It is also how I want to create my life.

During these weeks, I noticed how heavy it felt whenever something from the outside asked me to think ahead, make plans or decide something about the future. It wasn't that I had decided not to plan, or that planning itself felt wrong. I simply didn't want to leave the space I was in.

I have been deeply in a receiving space during this cure—listening, creating, observing what is moving in me and allowing things to take shape without needing to know immediately what I will do with them. Being asked to switch from that into planning and action felt almost like being pulled into a completely different inner mode.

And I think I needed these weeks to remain there as much as possible. Not knowing yet, not organizing everything that appeared into a direction, and giving what was emerging enough space to become clearer in its own time.

And what is emerging is surprising me. These three weeks are not even finished yet, and some of what is showing up for my next steps is not at all what I thought it would be. If I had sat down beforehand and mentally planned my direction, I would have planned something different.

But what is coming through feels true, so I am following it.

This also brings me back to the questions of value, worth and self-worth that have accompanied me during this time. There is enormous value in giving ourselves time to listen inwardly, even though from the outside it can look as if we are doing very little.

We often tell ourselves that we don't have time for this. Yet I am experiencing how much time, energy and effort we can save when we regularly create space to listen before we act.

When everything is decided by the mind, our choices can easily be shaped by security, fear, doubt, expectations or what seems reasonable. We can spend a lot of energy walking a path that isn't really ours.

Our deeper direction cannot always be planned. It has to be received.

And creativity is one of the most powerful ways I know to enter that place of listening.

This is also why creating spaces for this matters so much to me—through my retreats, my creative work and the spaces I hold online. They are not simply about making art. They are about giving ourselves something incredibly valuable: time to hear what is true for us before deciding where to go next.

I will share more about what has emerged for me when this journey comes to an end. For now, I am still inside it. Still listening, still creating, and still allowing the next step to reveal itself.